Choose Me for VP

Mid-week WTF edition

The news is full of (shiz-to-my-nizzle) who the HRC will choose for Vice President.  Will it be a male brewer from Colorado or a female firebrand?  Will it by an Hispanic from HUD?

I suggest that none of these are the best choice.

Instead, pick me.  

Why?  Because as a middle-aged, divorced father of one I bring a lot to the table.

Because You Don't Know Me

And by a lot, I mean almost nothing.  No one knows who I am.  Just ask my parents.  It's been nearly fifty years and they still don't have a clue.  Hell, I mostly in the dark on the subject myself (though there are those voices late at night telling me exactly who I am.)  And that's an asset.

Hillary and The Machine can mold me however they want.  I'm open to new looks, new hair-dos, implants, suction, you name it.   They can tell me what to say and I'll say it.  I'm willing to take the fall on any issue.

(Source: Sun-Sentinel)

Because I Don't Know You

I'm really bad with names.  I can recognize a face and usually place where I know it from, but names kill me.  Most politicians would tell you that this is a bad thing.  They make their reputation on making personal connections.  I'm telling you that this too is an asset.

The one subject that most people like to talk about is themselves.  Because I'll never remember anyone, they'll get to tell me who they are over and over again.  They'll get to sell me on their pet project or issue or special interest as many times as they want.  I will hear them.  And then I'll turn to the next person and hear them (again) and then the next and the next until I'm back to the first who can tell me what they want one more time.  Everyone wins.

Because I DO Know Tech

If there's one thing that Hillary and The Machine need it is some tech cred.  What better way to build that up than some ex-marketing wonk tech blogger?  I can explain Quantum Computing at least as well as Justin Trudeau.  I know the big issues that will be facing families and businesses over the next four (eight) years.  I know better than to discuss state secrets on an minimally secured non-government server.  That's gotta be a help.

Because I'm Cheap

I'm locked into my personal Containment Compound here in the American Southwest for at least the next seven years.  Then the MSD will come of age and head off to college.  Until then, I'm not moving.  And that's an asset.

It means that the government can shutter the Naval Observatory for four (eight) years and save a cool couple million at least.  There's a couple of houses for sale nearby that I know the neighbors will be glad to off load to the Secret Service detail.  That will still be less expensive that housing in DC.

Because Skeletons

Sure, I campaigned for Bernie (put a bumper sticker on my car and held a debate party for ten), but that's also an asset.  I have cred with the revolution.  I'll be able to bring whole ones of them over with me to the HRC camp.

I'm sure that I have more issues (mostly from crap I've posted on this blog) and I look forward to discovering them with Hillary and The Machine.

Clinton/Schmoid
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